iSport360 to Officiate Parent/Coach MMA Fights at Manalapan Memorial Day Soccer Tournament

New Jersey’s leading satirical news publication covering K-12 Education and Youth Sports


Manalapan, NJ (May 24) – In an unprecedented move, iSport360, a company helping coaches and parents work together to improve youth sports, will officiate physical altercations between any overbearing parents and hostile coaches at this weekend’s Manalapan Memorial Day Soccer Tournament.

In an effort to bring safety and fairness to parent-coach disagreements, iSport360 is filling a void desperately needed in today’s world of youth athletics. Fights between parents and coaches have increased nearly 300,000% since 1981 due to unrealistic expectations from both sides. “This moron of a coach is killing my son’s chances of getting a scholarship,” complained an obviously disillusioned Marty Freeman whose nine year-old son plays for his town’s U9 Boys D Team. Freeman emptied out his son’s 529 college plan savings account in the fall after his son was credited with a goal that deflected off the back of his neck. “The coach is not playing him enough and when he does get in, he puts him on defense. He knows Jakey doesn’t like defense! Jakey has told him a million times. If this coach doesn’t shape up, Jakey will go play for another town.”

Coach Nigel Jones certainly doesn’t agree with Freeman’s viewpoint and welcomes iSport360’s offer to officiate an MMA smackdown. “I’ve explained to Jakey’s dad a hundred times, his kid won’t play more until he gets better and he won’t get better unless he pays me for private training twice a week. His dad’s a Wall Street guy, no? Maybe three times a week then,” responded Coach Jones.

An MMA Octagon that meets safety requirements will be set up at the Recreation Center between Fields 11 and 12. Before each match, the parent and coach will select the reason for the altercation such as: “too much practice/not enough practice”, “child unhappy with position/playing time”, or “coach doesn’t listen to parent’s strategy or game planning”. Children will also be on hand to scream incoherent directions from the sidelines and then will analyze the fighter’s style, effort, and technique the entire car ride home.

If you are a youth sport parent or coach and you really do want to work together to improve your kids’ sports experience, please set objective goals and conduct fair player evaluations with our app at

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