Articles by admin

New Jersey’s leading satirical news publication covering K-12 Education and Youth Sports Manalapan, NJ (May 25, 2016) – Only one in 1,000 youth athletes earn a sports scholarship to college yet one in two parents believes their child has scholarship potential.  This is an early symptom of Delusional Sports-Parent Disorder, also known as DSPD, a condition affecting nearly 90% of youth sports parents.  The Center For Disease Control is calling this a “Pandemic”.  iSport360 is planning to provide funding for…

New Jersey’s leading satirical news publication covering K-12 Education and Youth Sports Manalapan, NJ (May 24) – In an unprecedented move, iSport360, a company helping coaches and parents work together to improve youth sports, will officiate physical altercations between any overbearing parents and hostile coaches at this weekend’s Manalapan Memorial Day Soccer Tournament. In an effort to bring safety and fairness to parent-coach disagreements, iSport360 is filling a void desperately needed in today’s world of youth athletics. Fights between parents…

Springfield (May 9, 2016) – Local husband Antonio Greenblatt pretty much ruined Mother’s Day yesterday for his wife, Francesca, due to an extremely underwhelming assortment of crappy gifts given by him and their two young children. For the seventh consecutive year, Antonio, 38, has overseen the production and purchase of some of the most god-awful Mother’s Day presents any mom has ever received. Year after year, Mother’s Day in the Greenblatt home has ended with a stern promise that next…

Springfield (May 4, 2016) – Though previously thought to be beyond impossible, 28 year-old resident, Mark Wallingford, has claimed to have wiped his behind with a lone sheet of single-ply bath tissue. The married father of one has sworn that the feat was accomplished with a simple four inch by four and half inch piece without any moisturized baby wipes or even a safety wipe for good measure. This ultra-rare occurrence took place in the comfort of his own home…

Springfield (March 31, 2016) – A spur-of-the-moment play date for her four-year old daughter Addysyn has thrown the schedule of area mother, Sue Morrison, into complete disarray for at least the next seven months.  The very rigid, admitted type A personality, Morrison let her good senses fall by the wayside as she allowed a non-planned activity render her meticulously organized calendar useless for more than a half year in advance. Morrison, a former corporate recruiter, has been planning out her…