East Coast Prepares to Feast on Buttered Bread, Eggs, and Milk During Blizzard

Springfield (January 22, 2016) – As the first major snow storm bears down on the East Coast of the United States, residents are urgently rushing to supermarkets across the region to purchase milk, eggs, bread, and butter so they can enjoy bread with or without butter, eggs, and milk while the snow pummels the area. Supermarkets are urging shoppers to get to the stores as soon as possible to avoid having to eat a non-staple food during the blizzard.

The last 48 hours have been a veritable feeding frenzy in the bread and dairy aisles of supermarkets from Maine down to North Carolina. Grocers have purposely stocked up on basic food staples in anticipation of the predicted snowfall. Manager of the Springfield Food N’ More store, Nick Hanson, is always prepared for the rush but even after 20 years in the industry, doesn’t understand consumers’ needs of milk and bread when it snows. “I’m assuming when people are stuck in their houses for several hours at a time, they have a hankering for buttered bread and milk and maybe some form of an egg, as well,” Hanson commented.

According to the Weather Station, the typical blizzard lasts only eight to twelve hours including snow removal yet consumers purchase nearly three to four weeks worth of food to get through the nearly half of a day ordeal. More likely than not, a blizzard produces winds strong enough to down power lines and produce widespread outages. These outages cripple not only entire cities, but also the refrigerators which contain the newly purchased perishables.

“As a lifelong East Coaster, I can tell you that if you’re trapped in your house for an afternoon, there’s no better feeling than knowing I can put some butter on a slice of white bread, or cook up an egg pretty much any way I’d like to, then wash it all down with a nice glass of paint-like whole milk. I’m glad I ripped the last loaf of bread away from a mother and her four kids,” explained Betty Simon, 45, of Chevy Chase, Maryland.

Most residents that were unable to get to the store to purchase milk, bread, and eggs can usually make do for six hours with crunchy cheese doodles, Chinese mustard packets, and a case of Busch Light.