Student Who Says “Only Ten More Months Until Summer” Beaten Senseless by Teachers

Freehold, NJ (September 10, 2016) – Alex Wilson, an eighth-grader at Freehold Middle School, was beaten to a pulp by several teachers shortly after the final bell on the first day of school.  Wilson will miss the next four to six weeks of the school year recovering from multiple fractures, bruises and internal bleeding.

Wilson, 13, has a long history of getting under his teachers’ and fellow students’ skin. He is the same student that leaves school for Winter Break by reminding everyone he will see them next year and the boy who petitioned for a year-round school session.  After the bell rang at the end of first period in Miss Mahon’s Advanced Algebra class, Wilson politely thanked his teacher then offered, “only ten more months ‘til summer, Miss Mahon” which brought on a twitchy eye and immediate migraine.  Miss Mahon, a twenty-two year veteran of the school system, mumbled “asshole” to herself and  took a swing at Wilson but missed when he bent down to tie his shoe.

Upon leaving Phys Ed later that morning, Wilson thanked Mr. Bullman then reminded him that there are “only ten more months ‘til summer”.  Bullman, still sporting a deep dark tan from his summer working as a “physical education specialist” at Hedonism III in Negril, Jamaica, did not take kindly to Wilson’s parting words and vowed to kick the ever-loving crap out of him at the day’s end.  “I just spent two months in a tropical paradise getting paid and this little prick has to remind me that I’m staring down an abyss of dodge ball and pommel horses for the next ten months,” commented Bullman, still with a trace of zinc on his nose following his raucous welcome home party Labor Day weekend.

As the day dragged on, the back-to-work educators began filing in and out of the teacher’s lounge, each with a settle to score with Wilson.  Whether heard directly from him or through word of mouth, each teacher knew that following the final bell of the day, however far off in the future it seemed, Wilson would be getting a beating the likes of which no student at Freehold Middle School had ever taken.

Mrs. Isaacs, the reading resource specialist, created a sign-up sheet so she and her fellow teachers would be able to beat Wilson in an organized, efficient manner.  In addition to the order in which the beatings would take place, teachers selected which body part they would target and the approximate length in minutes it would take to inflict enough damage to Wilson to ensure he’d never repeat those evil words again.

Isaacs lured Wilson out to the teachers’ parking lot behind the gym by telling him that there were a bunch of students there protesting that no homework was given on the first day of school.  Unfortunately for the young man, he was greeted by a straight line of teachers waiting to pound him into the ground.  As the beat down took place, screams of “ten months, my ass!” and “it’s still technically summer, you little bastard!” could be heard throughout  the lot.

Following the epic beating, Wilson limped to the late bus, blood dripping from his eye socket, nose and mouth, turned to the teaching staff and happily reminded them that next week there will be an all-day staff meeting with the new superintendent outlining the importance of following the district’s new lesson plan policy and procedures.